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Joe Biden Said Something Naughty

March 24, 2010 | Permalink

OMG, listen to what he says to Obama during the applause!

Really, I am flabbergasted. That is just plain inappropriate, and I can’t imagine what possessed him to say it. I know Biden is prone to gaffes, but this is major. Think about it: after scratching and clawing through the fetid political muck for well over a year, Obama signed the historic health care reform bill into law, and Biden says it’s “A big fucking deal?”

No I say, NO! Ho-ly FUCKING shit, it is a HUGE fucking deal! I mean, fuck me running, that is ass-kickingly goddamned big. Suck it, FOX News punditiots, because Yes We Did! Read the rest of this entry »


Open Letter to Certain Residents of Beachwood Drive

February 4, 2010 | 1 comment

treeIt’s February 4th, assholes. Do you still actually think the city garbage men are going to pick up your Christmas tree?

Let’s see… there have been about ten or twelve garbage pick-ups since New Years, and for some darned reason they’ve ignored your discarded tree every time. Oh wait—I know: it’s because they don’t pick up Christmas trees! Read the rest of this entry »


Up in the Air Dance Remix is Unsatisfying

January 18, 2010 | 7 comments

Normally, I look forward to screener season. Woohoo—free movies! At least once a year, for a few weeks, my SAG dues seem to deliver a tangible benefit.

Last night was my first viewing of any of the four screeners I have (thus far) received, and it was not an auspicious beginning. Up in the Air looks like it might be a pretty enjoyable movie. Might be, that is–I couldn’t say for sure, because the DVD I got is either a faulty reproduction or some kind of Special Jigsaw Puzzle/MadLibs/stoned Director’s Cut edition.

Minor plot spoilers hereunder
But if you read it anyway, you’ll know how I felt.

Up-in-the-air_collageMy DVD’s rendering began with a phone call scene between the George Clooney and Vera Farmiga characters, in which she reprimands him for having transgressed the boundaries of what apparently had been their rather casual relationship. Cut to George in the office of his boss Jason Bateman, who lets him know that someone named Natalie has quit. Cut to George receiving his 10-million-miler status card during a flight, complete with congratulatory announcement from the flight attendant and a special sit-down visit from the pilot (Sam Elliott). Cut to aforementioned Natalie character (Anna Kendrick) taking a picture of George holding a cardboard cutout of his sister and soon-to-be-brother-in-law in front of the St. Louis Airport terminal.

“Wow,” I thought, “they’re really going all-out with this whole non-linear narrative thing. But why are the edits so abrupt? Like, with some of them coming in mid-sentence?” Read the rest of this entry »


The Denver Broncos: Winning Ugly

October 21, 2009 | Permalink

The Denver Broncos soundly defeated the San Diego Chargers on this past Monday night to improve their record for the season to 6-0. However, they are certainly not undefeated, at least not in all senses: for the second consecutive week, the Broncos donned throwback uniforms that were nothing less than a sartorial train wreck.

For years now, the NFL has tinkered with the look of its on-field product by having teams put on “throwback” uniforms, i.e., ones designed to replicate the look of the team’s uniforms from an earlier era. This costuming of the players for a game or two had proven popular in Major League Baseball, and the same has generally applied in football. If nothing else, the fact that they continue to do it is evidence that it has been a shot in the arm for the league’s merchandising revenue.

ugly broncosThen the Broncos took the field in Denver on Sunday, October 11, 2009 in what the team’s website called an “American Football League legacy game against the Boston Patriots… to commemorate 50 seasons of Broncos football,” and proved beyond a shadow of a doubt that some history is best forgotten. Read the rest of this entry »


Progress?

October 18, 2009 | 2 comments

That landlord up the street has another vacancy, but apparently it doesn’t have any of those cool walking closets:

1 bedrom

The urge to bring out the scorn cudgel is almost overwhelming… but it feels too easy. If I can’t say something nice, yadda yadda yadda…

You know what? Very nice handwriting.


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