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Top 10 Videos of 2011: 5. “Tiger Woods Fails to Qualify for Sex with Dive Bar Waitress”

January 14, 2012 | Comment

5Back in January of 2011, the reliably hilarious satirical web site The Onion branched out into broadcast TV. Onion News Network was renewed for a second season and can be seen on IFC. A second show, Onion SportsDome, appeared on Comedy Central but was cancelled in June. SportsDome can’t be called a total loss, however, because it produced at least one terrific segment which has continued as a weekly feature on the web.

GOOMF masthead

“Get Out of My Face” (often referred to by the delightful acronym “GOOMF”) is a brilliant parody of the dick-swinging, rapid fire sports pundit barking match shows which have become a staple for ESPN — ones like Around the Horn and Pardon the Interruption.1 The Onion’s first installment of GOOMF appeared in the summer of 2011, and it laid me out laughing: Read the rest of this entry »


Weiner Doesn’t Have a “Problem,” He Has a Computer

June 16, 2011 | Comment

Sex advice sage and blogroll mainstay Dan Savage devoted the first ten minutes of his latest podcast episode to a passionate and astute rant about the Anthony Weiner kerfuffle. I should clarify that Dan’s commentary was recorded and released two days ago, on June 14; in it he refers specifically to Weiner’s confessional press conference, which had taken place a week earlier. Weiner’s resignation from congress didn’t occur until this morning, but it doesn’t make Dan’s argument any less relevant.

dan-savage

Dan Savage (photo: Flickr/mattoly)

Of course, the full effect is only available by hearing Dan speak his words. Nevertheless, here are some highlights for the benefit of those unable to listen (or who simply prefer to read):

My favorite question [at the press conference] was this: “Why would you do this after you were married?” Because Lord knows, nobody goes online and flirts — or masturbates, looks at [or] downloads porn, or creates through the interactive-ness of the web their own porn moments — no married person does that. The worldwide web is just this big jack-off-a-thon for single people.

Read the rest of this entry »


Top Ten Videos of 2010: 7. Funny or Die, “The Committee Ep 1: Bad Dog” [NSFW]

December 31, 2010 | Comment

The big countdown continues! Like its immediate predecessor, my number seven video of 2010 comes from the wacky web-video wellspring Funny or Die. Like both number eight and number nine on this list, it directly involves a friend of mine — but, be it known that it is the last video in the 2010 list that does so. The point of the list is to share videos that I really enjoyed, not to plug for my friends or try to seem cool by association.1

Another important detail about this video: if my #7 video is NSFW (and it is), this one is very NSFW. I’m just sayin’.

So here it is, featuring Rich Sommer (Mad Men), Alison Brie (Mad Men, Community), and my friend Kathryn Joosten (The West Wing, Wedding Crashers, Desperate Housewives, etc).

I’ll tell you one thing: I’ve heard Kathy say far dirtier stuff.


Top Ten Videos of 2010: 9. 2 Hot Girls in the Shower, “Revealed”

December 29, 2010 | 1 comment

The next video on my big year-end countdown is the handiwork of my friend Julie Wittner and her frequent co-conspirator Kim Evey. Earlier this year C&B featured a parody music video they made a few years ago as a one-off piece; the clip below is one from their continuing series of video vignettes suggestively (but as you’ll see, coyly) titled 2 Hot Girls in the Shower, which has become part of the “Judge Me By My Friends’ Blogs” section of the C&B home page blogroll.

Part of what I love about this series may be best appreciated by others who run their own websites or YouTube channels. The title 2 Hot Girls in the Shower and its comic realization are a sly swipe at the skeevy side of SEO, a phenomenon often referred to as “keyword whoring.” In addition to its definition on urbandictionary.com, keyword whoring can take the form of lame web content that has been stuffed full of frequently-occurring Google search terms (contextual logic be damned) in an effort to attract web traffic.

Not only does 2HGITS sound like it should be the name of a pø®n site, but each clip begins with stereotypical semi-funk pø®n-ish music and the appearance of two good-looking, ostensibly naked women standing in a shower. It is all, of course, just the launching pad for a deft comic duo who excel at poking sophisticated fun at the “Loveline”/Penthouse Forum conceit. They strike a precise comic note with their droll, underplayed thwarting of horny male websurfers, a target so easy as to usually attract only self-satisfied derision from lesser wits. The elegant simplicity of their schtick is also the perfect rejoinder to the predictably cretinous inanities of their YouTube commenters and emailers.

The 2 Hot Girls in the Shower YouTube channel includes all of the 40+ episodes Julie and Kim have made so far. There are also a lot of funny outtake clips and other extras posted — for example, you might like to start with the three alternate endings to the “Revealed” video. Julie and Kim also both have their very own neato-cool individual sites, respectively located at www.juliewittner.com and www.kimevey.com.


Got You Covered: “Nobody Does It Better”

October 19, 2010 | Comment

singleAh, the James Bond theme song: a sub-genre unto itself. There are songs, and there are movie songs, and then there are movie theme songs… and only then is there the Bond film song: a sub-sub-sub-genre distinctive for being (like the Bond movies themselves) unabashedly over-the-top. The best Bond songs are broad-stroke, go-for-broke, balls-out records: Shirley Bassey’s clarion “Goldfinger,” Paul McCartney & Wings’s churning “Live and Let Die,” and the subject of this post, “Nobody Does It Better.” Composed by Marvin Hamlisch and Carole Bayer Sager, it played under the opening titles of the 1977 Bond adventure The Spy Who Loved Me. Carly Simon’s warm, wide-open performance of the pop ballad caught the fancy of moviegoers1 and radio station directors alike, and the single reached #2 on the U.S. pop charts. Here’s the first minute or so, just for nostalgia’s sake:

Like just about all of the songs in my Got You Covered series, “Nobody Does It Better” has been covered more times than a 90-year-old exhibitionist. Before I highlight my favorite version, I would be remiss if I didn’t address the rendition by Radiohead. A taste: Read the rest of this entry »


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