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Top Ten Videos of 2010: 2. The Onion, “Sony Releases New Stupid Piece of Shit That Doesn’t Fucking Work” [NSFW... obviously]

January 11, 2011 | 1 comment

The best-laid plans of mice and men: it would have been easy to have compiled a 2010 top ten videos list of which five or more were from The Onion. Going out of my way to avoid this, I ended up with three out of ten from Funny or Die. So much for my little diversity initiative.

Of the bounty of 2010′s Onion-based hilarity, this one is the clear winner:


[click here to watch the video]

Close, but no cigar: “Breaking News: Some Bullshit Happening Somewhere”, “Thousands of Girls Match Description of Missing Sorority Sister” and “O-SPAN Classic: CIA Accidentally Overthrows Costa Rica”.

Wow… just by virtue of these videos’ titles this may be the most profane post in the history of C&B. Might as well make it official. Or rather, fuck it — might as well make this shit official. Shit fuck piss. Goddamned cunt. Cocksucker motherfucker sis-boom-bah. There, that oughta do it.


Top Ten Videos of 2010: 7. Funny or Die, “The Committee Ep 1: Bad Dog” [NSFW]

December 31, 2010 | Comment

The big countdown continues! Like its immediate predecessor, my number seven video of 2010 comes from the wacky web-video wellspring Funny or Die. Like both number eight and number nine on this list, it directly involves a friend of mine — but, be it known that it is the last video in the 2010 list that does so. The point of the list is to share videos that I really enjoyed, not to plug for my friends or try to seem cool by association.1

Another important detail about this video: if my #7 video is NSFW (and it is), this one is very NSFW. I’m just sayin’.

So here it is, featuring Rich Sommer (Mad Men), Alison Brie (Mad Men, Community), and my friend Kathryn Joosten (The West Wing, Wedding Crashers, Desperate Housewives, etc).

I’ll tell you one thing: I’ve heard Kathy say far dirtier stuff.


World’s Worst Stalker

May 26, 2010 | Comment

Mamas, don’t let your babies grow up to be stalkers. Especially if your babies are dumber than a box of rocks.

Via the L.A. Times:

A trial began this week in the case of a man accused of stalking and making threatening phone calls to a Huntington Beach police detective.

Brian Dopler, 27, is charged with felony criminal threats and stalking of the detective between Jan. 8 and Feb. 10, according to the Orange County district attorney’s office.

Look, I understand that stalking isn’t exactly a logic-driven crime… but if you can’t at least pick your spots better than that, you really should get out less often. Read the rest of this entry »


Joe Biden Said Something Naughty

March 24, 2010 | Permalink

OMG, listen to what he says to Obama during the applause!

Really, I am flabbergasted. That is just plain inappropriate, and I can’t imagine what possessed him to say it. I know Biden is prone to gaffes, but this is major. Think about it: after scratching and clawing through the fetid political muck for well over a year, Obama signed the historic health care reform bill into law, and Biden says it’s “A big fucking deal?”

No I say, NO! Ho-ly FUCKING shit, it is a HUGE fucking deal! I mean, fuck me running, that is ass-kickingly goddamned big. Suck it, FOX News punditiots, because Yes We Did! Read the rest of this entry »


[Bleep]ing Sports Tirade Videos

September 23, 2009 | 3 comments

Tennis player Serena Williams made more headlines with the tirade that caused her elimination from the recent U.S. Open than she would have if she had simply won the tournament. I’d post the video of the incident if it were more illuminating; unfortunately, what Serena said to the judge is not audible over the crowd noise.

It was a bad call—or at the very least, an inappropriately persnickety call at that critical point in the match.  Williams stalked toward the offending judge, pointing at her with the hand in which she was gripping the ball for her next serve. An anecdotal consensus has formed that she declared her intention to “shove this ball down your fucking throat.”

Not cool, to be sure. However, considered against the broader history of sports tirades it was small-fry stuff. The following are but two examples of what I mean.

Read the rest of this entry »


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