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Mamas, don’t let your babies grow up to be stalkers. Especially if your babies are dumber than a box of rocks.

Via the L.A. Times:

A trial began this week in the case of a man accused of stalking and making threatening phone calls to a Huntington Beach police detective.

Brian Dopler, 27, is charged with felony criminal threats and stalking of the detective between Jan. 8 and Feb. 10, according to the Orange County district attorney’s office.

Look, I understand that stalking isn’t exactly a logic-driven crime… but if you can’t at least pick your spots better than that, you really should get out less often. Read the rest of this entry »

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OMG, listen to what he says to Obama during the applause!

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Really, I am flabbergasted. That is just plain inappropriate, and I can’t imagine what possessed him to say it. I know Biden is prone to gaffes, but this is major. Think about it: after scratching and clawing through the fetid political muck for well over a year, Obama signed the historic health care reform bill into law, and Biden says it’s “A big fucking deal?”

No I say, NO! Ho-ly FUCKING shit, it is a HUGE fucking deal! I mean, fuck me running, that is ass-kickingly goddamned big. Suck it, FOX News punditiots, because Yes We Did! Read the rest of this entry »

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gammons

Peter Gammons (Flickr/Trev Stair)

Sagely baseball writer Peter Gammons, asked by MLB Network analyst and former big-league pitcher Mitch Williams whether he will now vote for Mark McGwire’s induction into the Hall of Fame:

I think it’s going to be hard now to vote for Mark. I reserve the right to change my mind. I voted for him this time because, you know, he never was suspended… but once you’ve admitted [to using steriods], I believe that… I mean, you guys know how hard it is to be a Major League player. The Hall of Fame is an honor, not a statistical right. I really do look at it that way, and for [you] and all the people we know that did not use any performance-enhancing drugs, I find it hard to vote for him.

What’s going to be fascinating to me–and I hope it doesn’t impact–but I think there are going to be some people that just because writers say, “My eyes tell me he must have done steroids,” that there are going to be one to five people that were innocent that don’t make the Hall of Fame because of the people that did cheat. And that really breaks my heart, knowing how hard all of you worked to get where you are.

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As promised, here’s a re-cap of my full top ten list. Click on any item to see the original post.

  1. Storm Large, “8 Miles Wide”
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  2. The Muppets, “Habanera”
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  3. The Onion, “Mexican Border Wall”
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  4. Read the rest of this entry »

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Another reliable fake-news tonic for the real news during 2009 has been, of course, The Onion. In my opinion, The Onion’s video segments are a bit of a hit-or-miss proposition, but one subset of them cracks me up pretty consistently: “In The Know,” which sends up the kind of four or five-way pundit scrum the cable news outlets so adore.

A fine example is number five on my top ten videos of 2009, “In The Know: Giant Money Hole,” which festoons the economic bailout in absurdity. Read the rest of this entry »

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