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Top Ten Videos of 2010: 4. The Colbert Report, “Jesus Is a Liberal Democrat”

January 6, 2011 | 1 comment

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My man Stephen Colbert made it tough on me in 2010, in a good way. He had enough excellent moments to make selecting just one for my top ten feel almost completely arbitrary. I ultimately went with this one, from the December 16th episode of the Report, for the total force of its hypocrisy-bashing. Make sure you watch the whole clip, because he saves the coup de grâce for the last couple of lines.

My inclusion of this video rather than one of Colbert’s more ballyhooed 2010 moments (the previously-mentioned Rally to Restore Sanity and/or Fear and his testimony on behalf of migrant farm workers before the House Subcommittee on Immigration, Citizenship and Border Security) may seem counter-intuitive. Taking the satirical brickbat to hypocrites is hardly new for him — in fact, it could be declared as his primary stock in trade since the Report began in 2005. However, Read the rest of this entry »


What Would Jesus Anything

May 3, 2010 | Permalink

My friend Julie and her cohorts at LKG Productions are at it again. Their music video (embedded below) is in some kind of “who can get the most views” competition on atom.com. I hope I’m not posting it here too late to help them, because it’s funny and they deserve to win stuff. Even if I am too late, at least they still have an inside track to making my eventual “Best Web Videos of 2010″ list (which I’m sure means the world to them).1

Here are Julie Wittner, Ryan Smith, and Johnny Markoudakis in WWJD a Music Video, directed by Kim Evey.

WWJD a Music Video

Ms. Wittner and Ms. Evey may already be on your radar screen if you have notched any of the 25 million plus views of their giggle-inducing YouTube series 2 Hot Girls in the Shower. Yes, it does sound like pØ®n, but it doesn’t stray beyond PG-13 range. It will shortly take up residence here in the C&B blogroll.


Converting a Dog to Christianity

August 1, 2006 | 5 comments

I was in the break room this morning making my long-overdue first cup of coffee when a co-worker named Aly came in to get herself something. She expressed her appreciation for my coffee mug; it’s a plain black mug that says “WTF?” in large white lettering. I ordered it from ThinkGeek.com.

“Thanks,” I replied. “I like it too.”

“It reminds me of something that happened with an old boyfriend of mine,” Aly continued. “He had this dog, and this one time he was trying to teach him to fetch, and he said, ‘Come on, Timmy – what would Jesus’s dog do?’ I thought he should make leashes or dog collars that said that. You know, like ‘WWJDD?’”

“I’ll tell you what Jesus’s dog would do,” I said. “He’d pee on your leg and turn it into wine.”

I got a pretty good laugh from her on that one. It seemed genuine, anyway… maybe you had to be there.

So now I’m wondering… what other fun things would Jesus’s dog do?


Have Yourself a Kitschy Little Easter

April 24, 2006 | Permalink

They’ve actually had these in the seasonal candy display at Ralph’s for the last couple of Easters, and every year I still can’t believe it.

easter cross

I only know one way to process something like this, which is to see how many one-liners I can come up with about it. This time, it turns out that I can come up with ten:

  • “Passion of the Christ action figures sold separately.”
  • “Because eating a chocolate bunny just feels so pagan.”
  • “Yeah, I want my money back – I hung it from my rear view mirror, and the damn thing melted.”
  • “You can’t have the feast of the Resurrection without dessert!”
  • “It’s most valuable if you leave it in the original packaging.”
  • “Again I turn to the wisdom of Homer Simpson, who said: ‘Mmm… sacrelicious.’”
  • “I’m gonna shoulder up that cross and bear it all the way to my tummy.”
  • “Where’s the little marzipan Jesus?”
  • “Never before has religious iconography been so tasty!”
  • “Sean, this is not an acceptable alternative for a communion wafer.”

Derek’s George-W-Bush-to-English Phrasebook, Volume I

March 20, 2006 | Permalink

“I can understand why people would be concerned about [name of Bush fuckup]…” 1. bullshit phrase; (false empathy, poss. substitution of ‘be concerned about’ for ‘think, in their lack of a direct channel to Jesus’); the closest George Bush will ever come to admitting he’s wrong.