Last night was my first viewing of any of the four screeners I have (thus far) received, and it was not an auspicious beginning. Up in the Air looks like it might be a pretty enjoyable movie. Might be, that is–I couldn’t say for sure, because the DVD I got is either a faulty reproduction or some kind of Special Jigsaw Puzzle/MadLibs/stoned Director’s Cut edition.

My DVD’s rendering began with a phone call scene between the George Clooney and Vera Farmiga characters, in which she reprimands him for having transgressed the boundaries of what apparently had been their rather casual relationship. Cut to George in the office of his boss Jason Bateman, who lets him know that someone named Natalie has quit. Cut to George receiving his 10-million-miler status card during a flight, complete with congratulatory announcement from the flight attendant and a special sit-down visit from the pilot (Sam Elliott). Cut to aforementioned Natalie character (Anna Kendrick) taking a picture of George holding a cardboard cutout of his sister and soon-to-be-brother-in-law in front of the St. Louis Airport terminal.

“Wow,” I thought, “they’re really going all-out with this whole non-linear narrative thing. But why are the edits so abrupt? Like, with some of them coming in mid-sentence?”

Soon enough, even my slow uptake had sussed out the situation. If nothing else, I knew things were fucked up when the end credits started rolling at the 50 minute mark. Two-thirds of the way through the movie I made it to the opening titles sequence. Following that, I came across a couple of scenes I’d already seen earlier; I kept watching them just to see if they added any layers of meaning the second time through. I was half hoping they’d pull some kind of Groundhog Day thing where the scene would take a left turn and end up somewhere different than it had the previous time, but no such luck.

And then, all of a sudden, it was over. I think. The last thing I saw was Kendrick giving an auto industry middle manager the axe via Skype, and the guy yelling, “What the fuck is this?!?” Not an entirely inappropriate button for the end of my viewing experience. For a second I thought the screener was going to tell me that all the answers I needed about my future SAG Awards voting options would be found in the glossy packet it was printing out for me. If it had done that, I might have had to vote for the movie in every category out of admiration for its ballsy marketing-fu. Missed opportunity, Paramount.

Now I’m left to contemplate whether to cast votes for Clooney (Best Actor), Farmiga or Kendrick (both nominated for Best Supporting Actress). Part of me wants to ignore them all as retribution for Paramount’s not bothering to send me a proper screener. This would of course be an entirely wasted gesture of principle, since I seriously doubt that the studio would ever find out I had done so, or even if it did, would give a shit. There’s also no sense in punishing my three fellow thespians for the situation, since I’m quite sure that awards-screener quality control was not among their contractual responsibilities (if it was, they need to fire their agents).

I guess I’ll have to re-assess after I’ve seen the other performances. I can only hope that none of my other screeners were recorded on “shuffle.”

Anyway, here are my top ten…nah, screw it—twelve favorite movies of the decade just completed, i.e., 2000-2009.

1. Dogville (2004)

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   Mike D’Angelo, The Man Who Viewed Too Much:

   Inevitably, von Trier’s spartan aesthetic has American critics citing Our Town, but in both method and spirit Dogville has much more in common with Brecht’s The Good Woman of Setzuan (written in Denmark, ironically), another sorrowful disquisition on the mercenary aspects of human nature. Anything this ostentatiously artificial demands to be read as allegory, of course, and charges of anti-Americanism aren’t entirely groundless — certainly the film is very, very critical of the way that the U.S. treats its underclass, and to argue that Von Trier isn’t entitled to feel that disgust without having set foot in the continental 48 is patently absurd.

2. Capturing the Friedmans (2003)

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   Jonathan Rosenbaum, Chicago Reader:
   

   If Capturing the Friedmans were less shapely and less of a masterpiece, I’d find it less troubling. Both times I’ve seen it I’ve felt that by the end practically everyone associated with the film seems tarnished in one way or another: the ostensible subjects (the Friedmans, an upper-middle-class Jewish family in the Long Island town of Great Neck), the members of their community who helped destroy much of their lives, the filmmakers, and the audience. We’re all tainted by the graphic exposure of family wounds, diminished by what we think and feel–and by what we don’t think and don’t feel.

3. The Lord of the Rings trilogy (2001-2003)

   
   Trailers: Fellowship Towers Return
   Netflix: Fellowship Towers Return
   Jeffrey Chen, LVJeffrey’s Window to the Movies:

   Thinking about this trilogy, I ponder over the strange dynamics of its journey to the screen. Peter Jackson and his team of wizards had already set themselves up with the first two movies — they were instantly beloved, receiving more praise from critics and public alike than most movies could ever dream of having. Naturally, the demand would be for the third episode to match the same heights. Even if Jackson only needed to deliver a movie that simply met expectations, he’d already have to create something quite special. Thus, the successful effectiveness of the final film should be an astonishing feat — we anticipate nothing less. It’s like putting Jackson on a golf course and telling him 18 hole-in-ones is par for the course.

   But he did it.

4. Before Sunset (2004)

   
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   Scott Tobias, The A.V. Club:

   When Hawke first beckoned Delpy off the train in [this film's 1995 prequel] Before Sunrise, he lured her with a half-sincere, half-smoke-and-mirrors speech about how she should take a chance or else feel some doubt in her romantic future. Though it seemed like a harmless come-on at the time, those words carry an achingly ironic resonance in Before Sunset, when the renewed pleasure they take in each other’s company only deepens their regret about where life has steered them. Shooting in long takes, [director Richard] Linklater and his actors (who get co-screenwriting credit) allow the conversation to curlicue effortlessly from literate banter to matters of the heart, and sometimes to places in between. And, in the spirit of the original, Linklater closes with one of the best endings of its kind since George Romero’s Martin.

5. Das Leben der Anderen (The Lives of Others) (2006)

   
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   Kenneth Turan, Los Angeles Times:

   [Writer/director Florian Henckel] von Donnersmarck has set his film in the East Germany of 1984, five years before the Berlin Wall collapsed. It was a time when the terrifying Stasi, the secret police, made it their business to use an extensive network of spies and surveillance to know every secret thing about their citizens. Unlike other German films, most notably 2004′s landmark Goodbye, Lenin, Lives is hardly an exercise in what’s called “Ostalgia”–nostalgia for the good old days of the East. Instead it is an inside look at how a surveillance society, set up to discover and prey upon human weakness, has the ability to make everyone a potential suspect and destroy everything it touches. The Lives of Others does all this beautifully, but it is too well-acted a film, too meticulously plotted and carefully directed, to be satisfied with that alone. It’s also finally too smart to be content with telling anything like a familiar story.

6. Y Tu Mamá También (And Your Mama Too) (2002)

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   Peter Rainer, New York Magazine:

   We’ve all seen (or consciously avoided seeing) plenty of Hollywood comedies about horny teens, but the two Mexican 17-year-olds in this film, Tenoch (Diego Luna) and Julio (Gael García Bernal), are perhaps the freest and most closely observed of their species to ever grace the screen. Y Tu Mamá También is like a Bill-and-Ted movie made by a true artist, and this in itself is a great joke.

7. Mulholland Dr. (2001)

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   Bryant Frazer, Deep Focus:

   Mulholland Dr. could be described as a movie about a dream about Hollywood. The audio design, credited to [writer/director David] Lynch, throbs with amplified ambient sound that suggests not just the ever-present noise of the city, but also, by literally surrounding the viewer, the expansive and unexplored spaces inside one’s own head. The helicopter shots peering straight down between skyscrapers as the booming sound of the city fills the movie theater are incredibly eerie, capturing the uneasy feeling of being alone, downtown, in the middle of the night.

   In collaboration with cinematographer Michael Deming, Lynch bathes his images in unease. His camera can best be described as floating, often moving vertically within a scene and looking down upon the characters, or sucking us forward into a point-of-view that we’re not sure we want to share.

8. Traffic (2000)

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   Jeff Vorndam, AboutFilm.com:

   What Traffic achieves, and what makes it a great, landmark film is that it acknowledges our culpability and how at odds we are with the avowed intent to eradicate drugs. Our society creates this problem with its insatiable demand for drugs, be they heroin, alcohol, tobacco, or diet pills. We love the stuff, and refusing to look ourselves in the eye short-circuits any plans to attack the side effects. One should ask, after viewing the film, if the side effects should be attacked at all, or if efforts are better spent treating the necessary ills that accompany our thirsts.

   I’m speaking in this broad sense because that’s where the film is strongest. I’ve read the complaints about the story timeline and the portrayals of certain characters, and they are not without merit, but in the end they make little difference to me because the totality of the film is so utterly moving. Some have said it’s not telling us anything we didn’t already know about the War on Drugs. Well, The Insider didn’t tell us anything we didn’t already know about smoking–which is to say, it’s beside the point.

   Traffic isn’t a message movie, it’s a movie about a state of being. It’s about being hopelessly incapable of affecting real change. It’s a state of besiegement, frustration, and resignation. Finally, it is a state of dogged optimism.

9. Bloody Sunday (2002)

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   MaryAnn Johanson, The Flick Filosopher:

   On a gray January Sunday in 1972, in Derry, Northern Ireland, British soldiers opened fire with live ammunition on unarmed, peaceful demonstrators, killing 13. Shocking and visceral, writer/director Paul Greengrass’s documentary-style re-creation of the horrifying events of that day pulls no punches, bluntly depicting the powder-keg atmosphere of the city: the disquieting enthusiasm of the British troops on the streets, tired of taking the brunt of local ire and itching for a fight; the disdain of the British major general on the scene (Tim Pigott-Smith, weaselly perfection), dismissing civil-rights protestors as “hooligans”; the zeal of the people of Derry, led by the local MP (James Nesbitt, energetic and passionate), unwilling to back down in their own city.

10. Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon (2000)

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    Vern, Then Fuck You, Jack: The Life and Art of Vern:

    To me the highly acclaimed picture Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon is not so much about fighting as it is about love and woman empowerment and graceful movement. It’s more like a musical or one a them tapdancing movies they made back then with all the singing and umbrellas and what not. And I ain’t making excuses like the other critics, because I’d RATHER say it was a kung fu movie, and I loved it. But facts are facts, and this is a tap dancing movie. I ain’t complainin though cause it’s the best tap dancing movies I seen in years.

    My man [Chow Yun] Fat gets to perform stunts like I never seen him before, because he’s doing all kinds of kung fu and great swordsmanshipping. In case you don’t know not all chinese dudes know kung fu, and I never seen Fat do it before. Always using guns. Maybe a punch now and then but very rarely kicking. Here he’s flyin around like a god damn superman, flippin the swords around like WHISH WHISH WHISH and who the fuck even KNOWS what some a those weapons are called that he’s using. These guys know how to USE the things, we americans can’t even NAME them. That’s how far ahead of us Fat is.

    But like I said, this is a tapdancing movie. Not a Badass movie. And Fat is one fuck of a tapdancer.

11. Almost Famous (2000)

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    Netflix
    Dana Stevens, New York Times:

    In Almost Famous, a loose, affectionate look back on his earlier career as a teenage music journalist, [Cameron] Crowe has devoted a whole movie to the love of rock ‘n’ roll. The soul he lays open — a sweet, forgiving and generous one — is his own. The movie follows the adventures of William Miller (Patrick Fugit), a San Diego 15-year-old whose fairy-tale ascendance from nerdy schoolboy to Rolling Stone reporter mirrors Mr. Crowe’s own life story. But Mr. Crowe is less interested in biographical or historical literalism — he freely mixes real and fictional characters and prefers period atmosphere to period detail — than in evoking the joyful, reckless, earnest energy of rock in the years between 60′s idealism and punk nihilism.

    He may be the least cynical director working in Hollywood today. In his hands this coming-of-age story is as much about the preservation of William’s innocence as its loss; the music William loves protects him even as his involvement with it introduces him to all manner of worldly corruption.

12. You Can Count on Me (2000)

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    Nick Davis, Nick’s Flick Picks:

    Have I failed at all to make You Can Count on Me sound like the warm, hilarious, moving story it is? It is the sort of film which I so poignantly hope people will see that I wish there were a sure-fire way to motivate you. I could go on about the wonders worked by [Laura] Linney, [Mark] Ruffalo, and even the young [Rory] Culkin, who is easily the least precious and therefore most winning of his brood. They disappear so completely into their gorgeously written parts that no one seems to be acting, just being. The cast is so confident with their roles that Lonergan, a playwright and screenwriter (Analyze This) making a very assured debut as a director, takes them everywhere with equally persuasive results: broad comedy, light romance, fisticuffs, apologies.

A Few Stats About the Top 12

• Movies released 2005-2009: 1
• Single year with most films on the list: 2000 (4)
• Movies in a language other than English: 3
• English-language movies by non-US filmmakers: 3
• Movies I currently own on DVD: 6
• Of those, sweetest and most tricked-out DVD: The Lord of the Rings Platinum Series (Special Extended Edition)
• Cheeriest: Almost Famous
• Least cheery: Dogville
• Most likely to have been seen: The Lord of the Rings
• Least likely to have been seen: Probably Dogville, and will probably remain so (see above, “least cheery”)
• Baddest muthafucka: Yu Shu Lien (Michelle Yeoh) in Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon
• Longest above-the-line name: Florian Henckel von Donnersmarck, writer/director of The Lives of Others
• How arbitrary the numerical rankings feel to me upon reflection: very
• Reportedly awesome 2000-2009 movies I haven’t seen: dozens
• Close, but no cigar: Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, Rachel Getting Married, A History of Violence, A.I. Artificial Intelligence, 25th Hour, No Country for Old Men, Memento, The Hurt Locker, Little Children, The 40 Year Old Virgin, All the Real Girls, The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford, Letters from Iwo Jima, Brokeback Mountain

So, how wrong am I? How suspect is my taste? Lay it on me in the comments.

If you didn’t act upon my entreaty to watch In Treatment during its first season, don’t beat yourself up, because I couldn’t walk the walk myself. I was going without any TV service at the time, and after the first 15 or so episodes HBO stopped streaming them for free on its website. Now, fortunately, there are remedies for dramatic completists like me who need to catch up:

1. If you have HBO, you have until March 15 to check out any of the first 20 episodes via HBO on Demand. Presumably, after that they’ll have episodes 21-43 available the same way.
2. HBO’s bogarting of the In Treatment Season One DVD set ends March 24. So great is my esteem for the show, I may just pre-order it.

If you’re not familiar with the show, here’s my attempt at a brief run-down. Psychotherapist Paul Weston (Gabriel Byrne, pictured above) conducts weekly sessions with four different clients, and each session is depicted as one half-hour episode of the series. Paul’s Fridays are dramatized as his weekly visitations of his mentor Gina (Dianne Weist), who apprehensively counsels him on his own abundant issues despite questionable ethics of doing so.

In a broader sense, In Treatment is all about ethical dilemmas. Paul’s foundation of therapeutic skill and experience are evident enough; the drama takes off as that foundation’s flaws and fissures exploited by a set of difficult and often deceitful set of clients. Take for example Paul’s failing marriage to the young and attractive Kate (Michelle Forbes, seen in brief intervals before and after his sessions), and his possibly-failing resolve to ward off the overtures of his young and attractive client Laura (Melissa George):

Similar “portrait” clips of Paul’s other Season One clients are likewise posted on HBO’s YouTube Channel, along with two-minute recaps of many episodes. However, I must stress that the clips cannot substitute for seeing the full episodes. What really sets In Treatment apart from other series is that each episode feels whole and continuous, like watching an unbroken scene in a play live and in person. The episodes take place (with only minor exceptions) in a single setting, and are filmed in extended takes often several minutes long. What ends up on the screen is beautifully simple: superb writing and superb acting, seamlessly directed and edited.

As if the news of the show’s return wasn’t welcome enough, my anticipation was compounded when I watched the Season Two preview clip on the HBO site. In addition to Byrne and Weist (both of whom are on my short list of favorite actors), Paul’s new crop of weekly conversationalists include characters played by Hope Davis (a mini-crush of mine ever since Next Stop Wonderland), Alison Pill (familiar from Milk) and John Mahoney (who showed much greater acting depth in movies like Say Anything… and Eight Men Out than was ever required of him on Fraiser).

Oh hell yeah, baby. Let the treatment be in.

This little Facebook meme has found its way to me. OK, what am I supposed to do?

Rules: Once you’ve been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. At the end, choose 25 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you. If I tagged you, it’s because I want to know more about you.

I’ll do it, and I’ll send it to the friends who tagged me in theirs, but no way am I going to require 25 of my Facebook friends to write lists too. My friends have more important things to do… well, most of them, anyway.

25 Random Things About Me

1. I am a compulsive copy editor and a remorseless grammar nazi (in case you hadn’t noticed).
2. I am geeky enough to use HTML markup when posting things on community web sites. In case you still hadn’t noticed.
3. I’m seriously considering getting a bicycle to use for getting around town, in order to both save money on gas and get more exercise. The only drawback I foresee is the increased chance of severe injury due to LA’s shortage of bike lanes and surplus of reckless drivers.
4. I’m discouraged at having already written this much and only being on #4.
5. Guiltiest dietary pleasure: ice cream.
6. I just decided that if I’m going to write this much, I’m damn well going to make it a blog post — come to think of it, then it’ll automatically become a Facebook note anyway. Screw it, I am now composing this on WordPress.
7. I first used a computer in about 1981 when my elementary school obtained three or four machines and stationed them in the library. They taught us to program a little bit of BASIC, which never really came in handy. Within a couple of years I was writing school essays on my family’s IBM PC and telling people how totally choice WordStar for DOS was.



8. I am not a grammar martinet with regard to casual conversation. The standard for spoken English is necessarily much broader than the one for written English. How dull and colorless would conversation be without the wild cards of things like dialect and slang?
9. I inadvertently stayed up working on something until 2:30 A.M. last night, and it’s altogether possible that I’ll fall asleep before I finish this.


She’s worth every penny

10. Pretty soon I’ll need to go pick up my dog Bella from her bi-monthly cardiac ultrasound re-check appointment at the vet. I’ll feel lucky if we get out of there for less than $350.
11. I can’t believe I already need to do laundry again.
12. Every so often I hear the Italian woman in the building next door having sex. Usually it’s when I need to concentrate on something else, but can’t, because she apparently likes her nookie with a generous supply of fresh air via her open window. C’est la vie, she’s clearly faking it most of the time anyway.
13. In my opinion The Office has fallen off a little bit lately, especially compared to 30 Rock, which still consistently cracks my shit up.
WARNING: items 14, 15 and 16 contain a high level of geekery. Viewer discretion is advised.
14. I’d love to be able to uninstall iTunes (and the irritating Apple Software Update app piggybacked onto it, which pesters me daily to install something called Bonjour for Windows) and use Songbird for everything. The problem is my iPod, which I like to use for listening to podcasts. With Songbird’s graduation from Beta into its full 1.0 release, its functions for podcast reading, metadata editing, and iPod device support went from “useless or nonexistent” to “kind of a pain in the ass, but it works.” It just ain’t there yet.
15. Which reminds me, I have a couple of web-related crusades of principle going, so I think I’ll give them each a number on Ye Olde List here. First in line: the iTunes Store. Think we’re supposed to stop hating them because they’re finally selling songs without DRM now? Think again. The new “DRM-free” media files they’re selling still have the customer’s registered e-mail address embedded in them, making any future copies thereof potentially traceable to that customer. Also, if you want DRM-free versions of music you already bought from the iTunes Store, they’ll give them to you… for 30 cents per song. That’s right, they want to charge you again for music you already paid them for. Say it with me: the iTunes Store sucks. Buy your MP3 music downloads from Amazon, where they’ve always come without DRM and at the higher-quality 256-kbps bitrate that iTunes just now started providing.



16. Next, a Colbertian wag of my finger at Internet Explorer. I would say “people who use Internet Explorer,” but Google Analytics tells me that would implicate 40% of the visitors to this blog over the last month, and I dearly love each and every visitor I get. Even the ones who use a shitty browser. Never mind that IE is the bane of any web designer’s existence (unless you’re a web designer, in which case I don’t need to tell you). There is simply no humane reason for anyone to deny him or herself the improved ease of use, configurability, speed, and stability of the superior alternatives: either my favorite, Firefox, or any of Safari, Opera, Google Chrome, Flock, and the Mac-only Camino, among others will do (but for God’s sake, not AOL Desktop). Seriously, do yourself a favor.
17. Now that I’ve heard Terry Gross interview Darren Aronofsky on Fresh Air, I really want to see The Wrestler.
18. All due credit to the Cardinals for peaking at the right time, but I’m rooting for the Steelers.
19. Every move Rod Blagojevich makes still leaves me saying, “Can you fucking believe this guy?” Wow. Not even a decade in, and he’s already making a credible run at Douchebag of the Century.
20. I believe that my biggest liability as a blogger is my constitutional inability to write something brief. However, in this instance it was not I who decided the list had to be 25 items long.
21. It is downright nippy in my apartment right now, but after last month’s bill I don’t want to keep cranking up the thermostat.
22. I haven’t used most of the Amazon gift certificate my brother gave me for my birthday yet. Possible items include Season 2 of The Shield on DVD (God, I already miss that show). Earlier today I also thought of two more glaring holes to fill in my music library, namely, Sam Cooke and Junior Walker & the All-Stars.
23. I’m having trouble restraining myself from putting up little cop-out entries for these few remaining list items… whoops — see, that one got by me.
24. Our refrigerator in this apartment is at least 25 years old. When it first cycles on it makes a sound like a garbage disposal that a piece of silverware fell into, which lasts for about ten seconds before trailing off. I barely notice it anymore, but it tends to startle guests.
25. I’m far from perfect, but one thing I’m very good about is always putting the toilet seat down.

Since I ended up not doing this on Facebook, the tagging people thing doesn’t really apply. I’ll forward a link to this post to some friends and hope some of them leave comments here. Even if their comments are just to ask why I wasted their time with this frivolous crap. Don’t be shy, mock me!  I’ve teed it right up for you with this list, so bring it, bitchez!