consumerism

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Market Research Mirage

August 23, 2011 | 1 comment

Today I offer an anecdotal snapshot of how hard it is to get paid to do anything in the current economy. The following took place only minutes ago:

I am seated at the computer screen, plugging away as usual. On the surface of my desk, my cell phone rings gently and vibrates loudly. I pick it up and look at the caller ID readout, which displays an unfamiliar number from an obscure area code. The phone continues to ring as I consider letting it go to voicemail. Then, impulsively, I touch the screen to answer the call.

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LEAKED: Upcoming Apple Products

June 3, 2011 | 2 comments

An anonymous source with direct knowledge of product development at Apple has provided me with the following list of applications and devices currently in the works. apple folderIn order to honor my pledge to keep the information quiet, I am publishing it on my blog.

  • iPaddle — Attachable wooden handle for the iPad; available in table tennis or aquatic conveyance sizes
  • iOta — Encyclopedia containing only miniscule specks of information
  • iRate — Easily records your angry screeds about local businesses and uploads them to the web
  • iKea-fy — Inoffensive but bland interior design generator; assembly required

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What Would Jesus Anything

May 3, 2010 | Permalink

My friend Julie and her cohorts at LKG Productions are at it again. Their music video (embedded below) is in some kind of “who can get the most views” competition on atom.com. I hope I’m not posting it here too late to help them, because it’s funny and they deserve to win stuff. Even if I am too late, at least they still have an inside track to making my eventual “Best Web Videos of 2010″ list (which I’m sure means the world to them).1

Here are Julie Wittner, Ryan Smith, and Johnny Markoudakis in WWJD a Music Video, directed by Kim Evey.

WWJD a Music Video

Ms. Wittner and Ms. Evey may already be on your radar screen if you have notched any of the 25 million plus views of their giggle-inducing YouTube series 2 Hot Girls in the Shower. Yes, it does sound like pØ®n, but it doesn’t stray beyond PG-13 range. It will shortly take up residence here in the C&B blogroll.


Free Irony Supplement Available at CVS

November 4, 2009 | 1 comment

I like CVS. The one near my new apartment even has an Rx counter with a drive-thru window. Like most any Angeleno, I feel instant affection for any merchant that allows me to patronize their store without exiting my car. Plus, you gotta admire their self-sustaining marketing strategy. Supply and demand is for amateurs—these guys are rockin’ some cause and effect. Check it out:

Darn it. If I’d been paying attention I could have saved $5 when I bought¹ $20 or more of Halloween candy.

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¹ Yes, that’s right: $5, and one pronoun. Look at the flyer again.


How Do You Rate on the LA-dar?

June 29, 2009 | 5 comments

Again, an item in Ye Olde Facebook Newsfeed set me to thinking. The blurb below was posted by an old schoolmate of mine. I have anonymized her profile picture, and (obviously) blurred out her name. She still lives in the San Francisco Bay Area, where we grew up; I (in case you didn’t know) now live in Los Angeles.which-ca-city-LA-screencap

I haven’t taken the quiz, so I don’t know what questions my friend answered. She was puzzled by the result, so I’ve endeavored to develop more in-depth questionnaire to determine how temperamentally well-suited one is for L.A. residency. So here it is: Derek’s L.A.dar, v 0.5.
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