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If this blog has revealed only one significant thing this year (which may indeed be the case), it is that we Americans have a serious problem with sign composition.
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And on that absurd note, I take my leave of 2009. Read the rest of this entry »
Back in the day, the sleeve was for your protection. It was a 60% post-consumer fiber barrier between your precious drinking hand and the scalding side effects of an otherwise delicious cup of coffee. After a little while, corporate America inevitably got around to adorning the coffee sleeve with ad copy, or at least some brand marketing. Phew! My God, people – we can’t just have blank cardboard sitting there in people’s hands!
Today the coffee sleeve marketing channel took a turn for the absurd. I wouldn’t have known about this had I not needed cash to get out of the Encino Medical Center parking lot (proof positive that the Blog God watches over us all). The parking lot attendant told me that if I bought something with my ATM card in the coffee shop, they would give me change in cash. Thus did I end up with the Mochaccino Freeze pictured here, its gratuitous sleeve adorned with the sample packet of Altoids. So I was left there wondering, just how cold is this drink? Do I need gloves? If so, what kind of protection do you have for the inside of my mouth? Based on the evidence, my breath was the least of my worries.
As pretty much anyone surely would, I detached the mints and threw them away before I even took a sip. Turns out the mochaccino tasted like it had 60% post-consumer fiber ground up inside it (and possibly another packet of Altoids, wrapper and all). At least it got my car out of the parking lot.
I was in the break room this morning making my long-overdue first cup of coffee when a co-worker named Aly came in to get herself something. She expressed her appreciation for my coffee mug; it’s a plain black mug that says “WTF?” in large white lettering. I ordered it from ThinkGeek.com.
“Thanks,” I replied. “I like it too.”
“It reminds me of something that happened with an old boyfriend of mine,” Aly continued. “He had this dog, and this one time he was trying to teach him to fetch, and he said, ‘Come on, Timmy – what would Jesus’s dog do?’ I thought he should make leashes or dog collars that said that. You know, like ‘WWJDD?’”
“I’ll tell you what Jesus’s dog would do,” I said. “He’d pee on your leg and turn it into wine.”
I got a pretty good laugh from her on that one. It seemed genuine, anyway… maybe you had to be there.
So now I’m wondering… what other fun things would Jesus’s dog do?
You know your work has cheap-ass break room provisions when you find yourself adding sweetener to your cup of hot cocoa.
Pfft. And people wonder why I bring in my own coffee.
If this is your first visit to C&B you may be wondering, “Who the hell is this guy, and why does he have a blog?” It’s a fair question, so I’ve dedicated an entire page to answering it: check out About.
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