Christianity

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Damn That Rapture

May 22, 2011 | Comment

Today is the day after the day that was supposed to be The Day. Reviewing the coverage of what didn’t happen, the following things came to mind.

NPR/Associated Press:

The hour of the apocalypse came quietly and went the same way — leaving those who believed that Saturday evening would mark the world’s end confused, or more faithful, or just philosophical.

Some had given away earthly belongings, [and] others drained their savings accounts.

“I had some skepticism but I was trying to push the skepticism away because I believe in God,” said Keith Bauer — who hopped in his minivan in Maryland and drove his family 3,000 miles to California for the Rapture.

“I was hoping for it because I think heaven would be a lot better than this earth,” said Bauer…

Read the rest of this entry »


What Would Jesus Anything

May 3, 2010 | Permalink

My friend Julie and her cohorts at LKG Productions are at it again. Their music video (embedded below) is in some kind of “who can get the most views” competition on atom.com. I hope I’m not posting it here too late to help them, because it’s funny and they deserve to win stuff. Even if I am too late, at least they still have an inside track to making my eventual “Best Web Videos of 2010″ list (which I’m sure means the world to them).1

Here are Julie Wittner, Ryan Smith, and Johnny Markoudakis in WWJD a Music Video, directed by Kim Evey.

WWJD a Music Video

Ms. Wittner and Ms. Evey may already be on your radar screen if you have notched any of the 25 million plus views of their giggle-inducing YouTube series 2 Hot Girls in the Shower. Yes, it does sound like pØ®n, but it doesn’t stray beyond PG-13 range. It will shortly take up residence here in the C&B blogroll.


Be Like Sarah

April 16, 2010 | Permalink

sarah's-choiceGod loves babies, and the women they rode in on. Pure and simple. Too simple, as a matter of fact.

Andrew Sullivan included this image earlier today in a post titled “The Cult of Palin”:

The core and calculated meme behind her appeal to the Christianist base — allegedly carrying a child to term when others might not — is already being propagated.

I’m not sure why he says “already,” since they’ve been trumpeting about this for quite awhile. Nevertheless, the point stands: they’re lionizing Palin for carrying to term a Down’s Syndrome child when she was 44 rather than having an abortion. That was the choice she made.

Which is exactly the point: it was a choice. And look, now they’re even using the c-word in the title of their little straight-to-video propaganda movies. Read the rest of this entry »


Converting a Dog to Christianity

August 1, 2006 | 5 comments

I was in the break room this morning making my long-overdue first cup of coffee when a co-worker named Aly came in to get herself something. She expressed her appreciation for my coffee mug; it’s a plain black mug that says “WTF?” in large white lettering. I ordered it from ThinkGeek.com.

“Thanks,” I replied. “I like it too.”

“It reminds me of something that happened with an old boyfriend of mine,” Aly continued. “He had this dog, and this one time he was trying to teach him to fetch, and he said, ‘Come on, Timmy – what would Jesus’s dog do?’ I thought he should make leashes or dog collars that said that. You know, like ‘WWJDD?’”

“I’ll tell you what Jesus’s dog would do,” I said. “He’d pee on your leg and turn it into wine.”

I got a pretty good laugh from her on that one. It seemed genuine, anyway… maybe you had to be there.

So now I’m wondering… what other fun things would Jesus’s dog do?


Have Yourself a Kitschy Little Easter

April 24, 2006 | Permalink

They’ve actually had these in the seasonal candy display at Ralph’s for the last couple of Easters, and every year I still can’t believe it.

easter cross

I only know one way to process something like this, which is to see how many one-liners I can come up with about it. This time, it turns out that I can come up with ten:

  • “Passion of the Christ action figures sold separately.”
  • “Because eating a chocolate bunny just feels so pagan.”
  • “Yeah, I want my money back – I hung it from my rear view mirror, and the damn thing melted.”
  • “You can’t have the feast of the Resurrection without dessert!”
  • “It’s most valuable if you leave it in the original packaging.”
  • “Again I turn to the wisdom of Homer Simpson, who said: ‘Mmm… sacrelicious.’”
  • “I’m gonna shoulder up that cross and bear it all the way to my tummy.”
  • “Where’s the little marzipan Jesus?”
  • “Never before has religious iconography been so tasty!”
  • “Sean, this is not an acceptable alternative for a communion wafer.”