Top 10 Videos of 2011: 9. Puddin’, “Taylor Swift”

December 22, 2011 | Comment

9I know. Right when I was chattering about the exciting momentum of my top ten videos countdown I go and hit the “pause” button for over a week, even slotting in another C&B post on an unrelated subject. What can I say? Never mind — the point is, no way would I let this list peter out. I made all these silver video-countdown icons (like the one at right), and I am damn sure gonna use ‘em.

At number 9 on this year’s list is a choice installment of Puddin’, a YouTube series described as follows by its creator:

Monday thru Friday I upload a live action cartoon. Racist, self hating, morbid, yet ironically very family friendly.

I have yet to see an episode of Puddin’ that struck me as having a racist intent. I assume he means that it’s racist in the same way that it’s “family friendly” — i.e., it’s not. At all. This particular installment is relatively tame, with only a single word rendering it NSFW. The description of Puddin’ continues,

The setup is simple. Guy sits in an office break room eating a pudding cup. Eddie Pepitone enters, or is already there. He does something. You react by laughing, wincing, asking for your 20 seconds back, or watching over and over. Easy.

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The Foreign Madman Drought

December 19, 2011 | Comment

The regularly-scheduled Top Ten Videos of the Year series will resume shortly. Very shortly. I promise.

FB_thread

Starting from the bottom:

  • I said foreign, you guys. People from North America aren’t frightening, because even if they’re batshit crazy, we know them. All of us know a few Michelle Bachmanns or Glenn Becks or Fred Phelpses,1 and they look like us. As do Canadians — who, moreover, are simply not threatening.
  • Castro hasn’t scared anybody for decades. Plus, he’s now like 99 years old and mostly concerned with his pipeline of black-market Depends undergarments. That brother of his who’s supposedly doing the dictatoring now is a total empty shirt. How empty? If dictators were legendary comedians, it’d be like Groucho Marx handing his role over to Zeppo.

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Top 10 Videos of 2011: 10. “Artist’s Statement”

December 9, 2011 | Comment

10We are rolling now, my friends. With this post, we have cracked the top ten of my Top 10 Videos of 2011. Can you feel the momentum? Like a sled that’s just been nudged off the crest and onto the slope. Look out below…

Here’s video number 10, made by a fledgling artist named Charlotte Young. It doesn’t really require an introduction, because it is an introduction.

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Top 10 Videos of 2011: 11. “Miracle on 42nd Street”

December 7, 2011 | 1 comment

11Yes, it’s that time again. I’m making my list, checking it twice, and counting down the naughtiest and nicest videos of the year now drawing to a close. There are a lot of strong contenders, so as you have no doubt noticed this year’s list goes up to 11.

Speaking of which, the number 11 video on my top ten is one that surfaced only days ago. It is the work of Alex Karigan and Zac Hammer of the Amy Marshall Dance Company, none of whom I’d heard of before… but oh, I have now. I’m not sure how to preface this video other than to say that it caught me off-guard.

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Pro Football Hall of Names: First Team

October 19, 2011 | 2 comments

Whereas my Second Team Hall of Namers were football players whose names are merely amusing, these First Team designees are ones whose names seem to independently declare, “this guy is an effin’ football player, my friend!”

I must admit, this one was tough because there are so, so many great candidates. Especially from the mid-century era: randomly looking at the roster of the 1947 Chicago Cardinals reveals such minor gems as Plato Andros, Babe Dimancheff, Pop Ivy, Buster Ramsey, and Walt Szot. With the purely arbitrary nature of this little exercise in mind, here are my favorite favorites.

NOTE: an asterisk after a player’s name denotes a member of the Pro Football Hall of Fame.

FIRST TEAM: NOW THAT’S A FOOTBALL PLAYER NAME

  • Bieniemy-thumb
    Eric Bieniemy
    pronounced “bee-EN-uh-mee”RB • San Diego Chargers (1991-94), Cincinnati Bengals (1995-98), Philadelphia Eagles (1999)

    We can all be grateful that Bieniemy chose not to attempt a post-football hip-hop career under the name B-Enemy. I can only imagine the various mockeries he must have heard on the playgrounds of his childhood: “Eric B. Enema,” “Eric B. Anthony” (from women’s suffrage history enthusiasts), etc. ESPN’s Chris Berman probably rendered any other nicknames moot when he famously dubbed him “Eric ‘Sleeping With‘ Bieniemy.”

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