It’s that time of year again! Time to recover from the holidays, sheepishly consider how little I’ve been posting to this blog, and most of all time to judge the previous year not by the color of its skin, but by the content of its web videos. You can’t stop progress, and 2012 did indeed boast more candidates for the list than any previous year. Then again this is only the fourth year I’ve been doing this, but you get the point.

Speaking of the perpetually accelerating rate of technology, the iPhone’s voice-activated virtual assistant, Siri, is by now pretty old news. Back on January 31 of last year, however, untold bazillions of Siri-inhabited iPhones had been unwrapped by thrilled consumers a mere month earlier.

Apple’s iPhone commercials played up the futuristic coolness of Siri to great effect. They also served up a fat pitch down the middle to one Gavin McInnis, a Canadian wit of of Scottish extraction. Despite the incongruity of a Scots-Canadian in a baseball metaphor, I think you’ll agree that he crushed it like Prince Fielder.¹

[NSFW]

In a follow-up post after the video had gone viral, McInnes elaborated:

The accent is Glaswegian, or at least a close approximation from hearing my Weegie parents scream it at me for past 41 years. Scots talk like Nuyoricans in that they ignore consonants and blend their vowels together in a big ball of word. Their accent is so contorted in fact, it can change the shape of your face. This twisted mouth is called “Sham Gabbit” and is seen as a patriotic badge of pride (so’s a knife scar across your face).

For an interesting and meticulous (to the point of self-nitpicking) Glaswegian-to-English translation, see the full post at Street Carnage, the blog he co-founded. For more Gavin McInnes, you can follow him on Twitter (@Gavin_McInnes), or check out his YouTube channel.