Does anyone ever look at the “Favorite” tweets on other people’s Twitter profiles? Until that question occurred to me the other day, I don’t know if I ever had done so. Admittedly, the “Favorites” feature on Twitter is one I tend to forget about periodically. If my hunch is correct and people seldom look at each other’s favorite tweets, then what good is this collection of favorites that I’ve been compiling in fits and starts?
So hear this: I have some favorite tweets — and damn it, attention must be paid. I am boldly risking my reputation by giving the following tweets the imprimatur of my favor. 1
Lastly, I should mention that the embedding code for these tweets was generated by socialditto.com; I tweaked the CSS format a little to blend with the design of this blog. New updates of WordPress have enabled me to embed tweets far more easily than before, for which I am most thankful.
You know, my CD is available on my website. I feel silly saying, but it is, and Flag Day is coming up, so you’ll be looking for gift ideas.
— Paula Poundstone (@paulapoundstone) June 3, 2009
Something smells like pee. I think it’s near the spot on the rug where my dog was standing when she looked me square in the eye and peed.
— Laura Silverman (@LauraJSilverman) June 3, 2009
Join my even newer service, Zitter, in which all Zeets must be zero characters. It’s simply a way to let people know you’re still alive.
— Paul Feig (@paulfeig) June 9, 2009
NYC’s online pkg ticket payment site asks if I want “add more items” to my cart, or “checkout.” Like I’m shopping for parking fines.
— hodgman (@hodgman) June 11, 2009
You know what? Before I go, I think I AM going to buy that extra $115 double parking fine. I DESERVE IT.
— hodgman (@hodgman) June 11, 2009
Man in line is telling his daughter the plot to every Toonces SNL sketch he can remember. Whoever wrote those: you have touched lives.
— Scott Aukerman (@ScottAukerman) July 11, 2009
Here’s a fun tidbit:It actually takes more muscles to make your asshole frown than to make it smile.
— Sarah Silverman (@SarahKSilverman) June 29, 2009
The Diary of Barney Frank#failedbroadwayshowtitles
— Lauren Gilbert (@UffishL) August 13, 2009
Laid down on my floor 2 do situps. Woke up 30 min later. Didn’t do any situps but man did that sun feel nice & warm. Where’s my coffee?
— Kurt David Anderson (@Noseycoors) November 16, 2009
6’11″ bro-in-law tried out for Washington Generals. Showed tremendous downside. Was committed to losing. Still got cut.
— Steve Rushin (@SteveRushin) January 29, 2010
There Will Be Hugs #oppositemovies
— Chris Serico (@ChrisSerico) March 5, 2010
Tiger looks at golf ball, says to himself: “I’d hit that.”
— Peter Sagal (@petersagal) April 10, 2010
Old Damn Twitter, dat Old Damn Twitter …
— word_czar(@word_czar) December 16, 2010
“Jeff Bridges, George Clooney, Morgan Freeman, and now hobos? Fuck, I need a new career.” -professional voiceover artists
— Stephen Falk (@stephenfalk) January 6, 2011
— Andrew Bonar (@andrewbonar) January 28, 2011
according to my resume, I AM AWESOME.#fb
— Pip Lilly (@PipLilly) January 31, 2011
Anyone dumb enough to say “my grandmother wasn’t a monkey” certainly raises the possibility.
— Roger Ebert (@ebertchicago) February 1, 2011
The ladies’ frocks are excessively revealing, but what can be expected from such a ribald occasion? #JaneAustenAtTheOscars
— rosanne cash (@rosannecash) February 28, 2011
Two jews walk into a bar…..wait it’s twitter, needs to be shorter.. One jew walks into a bar…
— Albert Brooks (@AlbertBrooks) March 27, 2011
On The Other Hand: Another 127 Hours#unnecessarysequels
— Duncan Elkins (@dce7) April 22, 2011
I remember a time in this country when we respected a title like “Birther Queen” and committed to the levels of fucking needed to earn it.
— Mobutu Sese Seko (@Mobute) May 15, 2011
Dear Politicians: Get me free healthcare and you can put your dick in whoever the fuck you want.
— Mike Drucker (@MikeDrucker) June 12, 2011
Holy shit. What if I suddenly never have an opinion on anything ever again? #twitterpanicattacks
— James Napoli (@JamesNapoli) July 6, 2011