Citi Doesn’t Care What I Prefer

As much time and hassle as it saves me, handling my accounts online isn’t completely free of drawbacks. Although I may provoke a flurry of patronizing tsk-tsking from the online-security paranoiacs, the drawbacks I’m going to address don’t have to do with whatever chance might exist of my identity being stolen. I’m talking about the unwanted extra email that so many of my online accounts continually send me, no matter how many times I “unsubscribe” from these “special offers and information for account holders,” or whatever the euphemism may be.

Let’s illustrate this bitch. On my Citi/AT&T Universal Card, I signed up as per usual for the “paperless” option—online statements, online auto-payments, emailed confirmations thereof, and emailed notices in case of any problems with limits or payment processing. When I selected these services, I was careful to specify my desire to receive no other emails from the credit card other than these specific statement and payment notices. Nevertheless, here is a junk email I received from them this morning. Highlighted at the bottom is the teeny-tiny “unsubscribe” link, which I clicked.

The link directed me to this page. Notice my unequivocal selection of the option that most nearly equates to “don’t send me any of the bullshit above—just the essential messages I need to see.”

That nice, inviting “Save Preference” button led me down the garden path to this:

Oh fuck me. Well, that was time well spent.

So that maybe something good can come of my little run-around, here’s an annotated version of that last disclaimer which the bailout babies at Citigroup can have for free: