It has come to pass that my friend Todd, he of my blogroll, has seen fit to mock me in the comments section of my last post for my lack of new content. He is lucky enough (or unlucky enough, depending on one’s personal taste) to have caught me in a particularly sarcastic mood. I might even call it a particularly snark-castic mood, but that would just be too fucking precious. Anyway, the following is very likely going to sound much more surly than usual for me; rest assured that I mean it to be tongue-in-cheek. I’m feeling a little Denis Learyish.
That’s correct, Todd, I haven’t posted in awhile — and my, aren’t you a keen observer of detail. Wanna know why? Because I’ve been busting my ass building a site for the theatre company I’m in. Need proof? Fine, here are a couple of screenshots:
Not exactly a slapdash half-hour-with-FrontPage kind of a job. Put it this way: in the last month alone, I’ve spent enough time building and administrating that site to fulfill my company volunteer hours quota for the next three years. That is, if we were allowed to carry over extra hours to the succeeding year, which we’re not. But it doesn’t matter, because as long as I’m running the website I’ll never have to wonder if I’ve done enough volunteer hours.
So then Todd informs me that I’ve been “tagged in a meme,” and to find out the meaning of this memeing I need to visit his site. Deciding to play along for the moment, I click over to his blog post and find the answer to be as follows (grammatical corrections are mine, and included for no good reason):
1. Link back to the person who tagged you
2. Mention the rules on your blog
3. Tell about 6 unspectacular quirks of yours
4. Tag 6 following bloggers by linking [to] them
5. Leave a comment on each of the tagged blogger’sbloggers’ blogs letting them know they’ve been tagged.
As I said in a comment to Todd’s post: oh, jaysus.
First of all — and I don’t fault Todd for not knowing this — here’s the thing about me: I don’t follow memes. I start memes. I am the natural source from which memes flow; that’s why I call them MEmes. If somebody else came up with it, then by definition it is not a meme — it is a THEMe.
To be completely honest, I’m usually not even aware of it when I start a meme. I never set out with the purpose of producing the latest Thing You Have to See, the internet touchstone-du jour, the virtual face that launched a thousand forwarded emails. I don’t wake up in the morning going, “Let’s see… I think I’ll have some breakfast, feed the dogs, shower, and set the zeitgeist aflame.” It just happens. Such is the nature of being mightily influential.
That aside, I find this so-called meme’s question thoroughly mediocre. Six “unspectacular” quirks? It’s such a mediocre question that it specifically calls for mediocre answers! And not just one, but SIX of them. Well, be careful what you wish for. After two or three of anyone’s unspectacular quirks, it’s a sure bet that the rest of the list is going to get more and more unspectacular.
One or two spectacular quirks — now that would at least be worth forwarding to your MySpace friends. Who cares if you prefer crushed ice to ice cubes or whatever — I want to read about your quirkiest, weirdest foibles. Like, say, if you perpetually emit static electricity, no matter where you are. Or how you have one toenail that grows four times faster than normal. Or perhaps how you smashed your genitalia between two handheld freeweights while doing standing flys, and now the brand “Everlast” is permanently embossed on your penis. You know, that kind of thing.
I know it’s the internet, but holy shit, people — aim at least a little higher. So, I’m sorry, Todd. I won’t be tagging six other bloggers and perpetuating this chain-letter posting thing. Whatever, call me Ebenezer. I’m taking a principled stand for the cause of better content. Demand more from your internet questionnaires!
Or don’t. Seriously, do whatever you like. I like to agitate for a better internet, but, you know, that’s just me.