Parse This

There’s a new mutation of bullshit that is taking hold in Washington, and I want everybody to get inoculated now. Before we have to listen to any more of this infectious mealymouthed tripe. And look, it is not my aim to just pile on Bush again. He’s had a bad week, and I feel for him in that regard, but this little outbreak started with him.

September 14, 2006 press conference, transcript posted on Whitehouse.gov:

REPORTER: What do you say to the argument that your [Military Commissions Act] proposal is basically seeking support for torture, coerced evidence and secret hearings?

PRESIDENT BUSH: This debate is occurring because of the Supreme Court’s ruling that said that we must conduct ourselves under the Common Article III of the Geneva Convention. And that Common Article III says that there will be no outrages upon human dignity. It’s very vague. What does that mean, “outrages upon human dignity?” That’s a statement that is wide open to interpretation.

Is it? The rest of the world hasn’t seemed to have had all kinds of trouble interpreting what Common Article 3 means in the 50+ years since it was written, so your problem is…?

One wonders how an argument this lame was given a pass. I can only surmise that the idea of Bush not getting what a line in a treaty means didn’t seem like much of a stretch. Of course, the truth is that he and his cohorts know damn well what it means.

Today, the crap came back. The whole “that could mean a lot of things” gambit slid through so easily for Bush that now it’s cropping up in other areas of the federal government:

November 16, 2006 article on TPMmuckraker.com:

In a new report on publicly-funded abstinence programs, a government watchdog charged that the Department of Health and Human Services (HHS)… last year spent $153 million on abstinence education programs… some of the [which] are telling kids stuff that just isn’t true. The Government Accountability Office cites one program which told kids that HIV can pass through latex condoms, because latex is porous. (That’s false.)

The GAO gave the reasonable-sounding recommendation to HHS that it ensure that all information given to kids through these programs should be scientifically accurate.

…In response, HHS — which has on staff more than a few scientists and other educated types — said, “[the] GAO never defines the term ‘scientific accuracy’ in its report… As such, it is difficult to precisely determine the criteria employed by GAO in making the recommendations as to scientific accuracy.”

May I respectfully request that we stop this shit right now? Please? Because, look: the neocons are the folks who created and gloried in the endless “Monica-gate” drama and who never get tired of mocking Bill Clinton with the sound clip of his “that depends on what the meaning of the word ‘is’ is” evasion. I assure you that if I have to listen to one more of these guys wax hypocritical by claiming not to know what some perfectly obvious idea means, I may never stop throwing up.